Meaningful Ways to Connect with Others by Carole Langman
Recently I read a great book ‘The Self Care Revolution’ by Suzy Reading. In the book Suzy offers the reader a variety of different chapters on the many ways in which we can Self-Care. One of the most important points that jumped out at me was the chapter on Social Connection. When I read through what she had written, it resonated with my own thoughts and feelings. For some time now I have found that I have a strong need to be part of a group, to be included. I really do need relationships with others in order for me to develop and grow. Here are some of the crucial points that hit home to me, when reading this book:
1. Reach out to others, don’t be afraid to show your vulnerabilities
People on the whole are kind and it is the simple acts of kindness that offer us connection. It used to be called common courtesy, things like holding a door open for someone, picking up a parcel that has been dropped and handing it back to the person. Even a friendly comment or a big smile from the person serving you on the checkout. These sorts of simple, quick acts of kindness are what often is all we need to lift us out of the doldroms.
2. Connection with others has a profound effect on our happiness and well-being
We all have a basic need to belong and to connect with others; by this we experience a sense of love, of comfort and acceptance.
- Learn to develop your caring ability.
- Notice how you respond to other people you come across in life.
- To close friends and family, try to balance expressions of affection with criticism.
- Suzy says that in order to sustain a relationship you need 3 positive comments to a ratio of 1 critical comment.
- Notice the words you are using and what you are saying.
- Pay attention to your thoughts as well.
- Try to focus on the strengths of others rather than the negative issues.
- And make time to connect… to talk, to listen to others.
3. Think about who is in your clan – your team
Who’s on your side? Who do you share your journey in life with? These are the people who care for you, pamper you, lift you up when you’re down. People who inspire you – who challenge you and who you go to for help to put you back together when you fall apart. Write a list of who is in your team. Pop this list in your Vitality Journal so that you can revisit it when you need a boost. Having a list such as this helps you to make a better decision when you need to reach out.
Keep your list up to date. Your team members will have different strengths so choose which individual best fits at any appropriate time. Check out your list from time to time. Make sure you keep in touch and don’t leave it too long. You want to share the good times as well as the times when crisis hits. Don’t alienate yourself when times are bad, quite often this is a time when all you want to do is to bury your head in the sand… to shut down and close up. This is the time you need your team the most!
I have found the book inspiring, and uplifting. There are so many things I have learnt. I need to make sure I put them into practise and grow and develop in ways which lift and inspire me. What about you, what are you going to do to make sure you are fully connected?
Check out more of my Monday Motivation Blogs HERE. Follow me on my path of Self-Care. And don’t forget to let me know what you do in order to look after yourself. Next week we will talk about Daily Micro moments you can put into place to better care for yourself.