Learn to Be Free from the Critic Within by Carole Langman
Self judgement is one of the greatest sources of inner suffering and unhappiness. It can also be one of the major barriers if you are trying to grow and improve within yourself, and want to change old habits that don’t work for you any more. Last week in our Monday blog we talked about critical judgements and how they affect you, both from others as well as ourselves. This week we are going to focus more on the critic within, our very own personal critic, and how we judge ourselves!
Here are some basic principles to consider – according to Byron Brown’s book Soul Without Shame:
- 1st Principle – a judgement always touches on something that you believe to be true
- 2nd Principle – a judgement can generate self rejection instead of self defence
- 3rd Principle – if the content of the judgement is actually true, it will be twice as difficult to recognise and respond to the attack
- 4th Principle – to be honest, it doesn’t really matter if the content of a judgement is true or not, what is important is that you will feel under attack, undermined and deflated
One of the ways to begin to tackle the critic within is to build up your immunity against these critical judgements. You also need to discover why these judgements have such a debilitating effect on your self esteem.
Start by following these 4 steps:
- First of all – identify the attack or judgemental statement. If it wasn’t explicit, make it explicit. If you feel bad about yourself, then you have engaged in self judgement
- Begin to recognise how a judgement feels as it changes your energy, your space, your feeling of self worth. Distinguish your energetic state – aroused, tense, anxious, calm, relaxed, protective etc
- Take notice of the emotional reactions you experience when faced with judgemental statements. Do you feel guilty, selfish, angry, ashamed, hurt, depressed etc
- Recognise how a judgement provokes self rejection within. The judgement stirs up a feeling inside of wrongness; that it is your feelings and beliefs that are wrong
During the coming week
- Think about the times you feel under attack from your own judgements.
- Notice how this affects you, both on your emotional state and also on your energy levels.
- Try to keep a log to help you understand how your sense of self changes as a result of feeling judged.
We use our senses all the time, but not always consciously! Awareness develops as you begin to notice what you are aware of. More about this next week.
Read more of my Monday Motivation blogs HERE.