Easy Steps to Self Awareness by Carole Langman
In our search for self compassion, self kindness and self awareness, we talk about how best we can take care and comfort ourselves. A great way to start would be to look at the very opposite, how we treat ourselves at times, and how we don’t look after ourselves.
Who is your worst critic?
Have you ever thought that the very worst critic you will ever experience is you? Yes, it is unbelievable really, but we are definitely our own worst critic. Do you remember the old saying “you are you’re own worst enemy”? Well, that surely relates to how we treat ourselves at times! Do you recognise any of these values?
We talk about love, but how are your thoughts on self esteem; guilt; shame or self recrimination? Very often the judgments we hold about ourselves tend to be projected onto others. The same with pain, etc.
If you are anything like the rest of us, please know that you are not alone. We all hear the critical voice from time to time.
The very first step in developing self compassion and kindness to yourself is to develop awareness of how you behave towards yourself. Learn how to recognise your inner critic, listen to the voice that tends to condemn, and can often be harsh. Learn how to turn it around into ways to develop and grow instead. Understand this is a path to wholeness, not perfection.
Do you want to be free?
Do you want to be free from the old patterns of behaviour and the old beliefs? Do you want to have a way of being, a way of life, that replaces the old ways? Free from judgements, and a living conscience, not based on old strict self imposed rules?
You can learn how to recover your passions, your sense of spontaneity and return to being yourself, your true self.
Your True Self
Recovery of your true self enhances and enriches the life you lead. What is the real you, the soul deep within you that you may have lost touch with? What stands in your way to identify and deal with your inner voices?
What Drives You?
One of the greatest challenges we face in understanding ourselves is to discover what drives us, what makes us who we are. And how to learn to confront and face up to your inner critic.
- How aware are you?
- Are you lost within the depths of your own thoughts and self judgements?
Pay attention to your physical feelings and sensations, as they are a good indication of what you are really feeling at any one moment in time. You can use them as a guide to what is going on within.
- Is it fear that you are feeling?
- What is the source of your fear?
- Who is judging you?
- More than likely it is yourself, even if you are projecting it as being judged by others.
At this stage what can and does happen is that you start to feel ashamed of what you believe your inner critic is telling you. And with that comes a feeling of familiarity and wanting to distract yourself from shame.
Quite often this old feeling stems from childhood insecurities and the feelings that start to arise are feelings from way back then.
- Feelings of being small, alone and afraid.
- Feelings of being sad, and looking for love – parental love as a rule.
As these feelings are unwelcome this is the moment we start to distract ourselves and focus on something else, ignoring and denying these emotions. This can be a continual circle and can never actually change reality. The more you are aware of the reality, of the truth, the more likely you are to gain a deeper understanding of reality for you.
So, first steps in your road to better self care is to recognise these feelings. Recognise what a judgement feels like to you, a judgement either from yourself or others. A critical judgement. All of these steps can lead to self awareness, and eventually to awareness of our real selves – our Soul.
Next week we will develop great strategies to help you to move on and develop self love, self compassion and getting to know the real you!
Read more of my Monday Motivation blogs HERE.